(165) Backdoor Babe.

Well here we are again another year over. Its very easy to get depressed at this time of year. I look back at the last twelve months and reliase I  have achived a F*** all! But I have got to stay positive and think of all the good things to come. Theres the Erm.....? Oh! what about... no that won.t work.
Maybe I could?
Well with the next exciting year ahead all planned , I wish you all a Happy new year. And all the very best for 2018 X.

As I have not been able to string two words together this past week. this is a caption from 2015 made for Elena.

Happy Christmas.

It will come as no surprise that putting off writing a Christmas day caption on the day was not a good idea. Even worse try it after a large Dinner and two glasses of wine.
 I hope you are all having a wonderful day. Love and best wishes. X

(164) Unmerry Fairy.

(163) Conception Consternation.

(162) Trees A Crowd

It's time to start a Christmas vibe. I don't know apart from the packed shops and spend, spend, spend there does not seem to be much Christmasy going on. It is more like something to be endued.
 Maybe I well get a visit from a talking snowman or a ghost of Christmas past, present, future and rediscover the true meaning of Christmas.

(161) Collecting Her Belongings.

I made this one a few weeks ago. Thought that I would give it an outing as I was out last night with the guys from work and am feeling a little worse for wear. Damn it why is this computer screen so bright!?

(160) Into The Lioness Den.

Oh no! Christmas is coming. I heard the first Johnny Mathis when a child is born. This is happening, people!
 I have a long one for you. Take a deep breath, brace yourselves. Its coming ready or not.

(159) Time For A Stiff One.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Dr Feelgood - Milk and Alcohol

Happy Thanksgiving.

A happy Thanksgiving to you all.
Confession time. I was going to do a caption but had a blonde moment and was thinking it was next week.
I am in the UK. and we do not have that celebration. So that's my excuse. Oh well, next year or turn it into a Xmas caption. 
Although we do not have thanksgiving here over the last few years Black Friday seems to have become a thing. Nice one Capitalism.

(158) An Office Coup.

This is the "Caption" that I was working on last week. It has got rather long so more of a short essay now. You know me I do like to pile on the agony.
Let me know what you think of it.

(157) Cumming And Going.

A quicky freesh of the keyboard. The caption I was going to post has grown into more of an essay so needs a bit more work and editing required.
 I have managed to put my back out again. So hitting the Ibuprofen. But I am OK as long as I do not have to stand, sit, or lay down!

(156) Shopping Aisle Trial.

Its Guy Fawkes night here, (Bonfire night for the more P C). Despite the rain, my Pyro neighbour is in full flight with fireworks galore. Yay for dangerous traditions. Now a caption that has nothing what so ever to do with that.

(155) Halloween Horror 3

(154) Halloween Horror 2

Another Halloween caption. It got rather long. I wanted to try and make it scary and stretch my writing legs. Doubt I did either. but if you did pee your panties let me know.
Maybe It is just the dread and horror of reading another of my epics!

(153) Halloween Horror.

(152)All In A Spin.

(GIGGLE) TIME TO GET THEM TASSELS SPINNING BOYS. (CHEERS FROM CROWD)
JAME'S OR HIS STAGE NAME MISS JANE JIGGLES, STARTED TO GET HIS HIS BREASTS IN MOTION FOR THE SHOW STOPPER. 
 HE HATED HOW THE MEN OGLED AND JEERED, HE FELT LIKE MEAT ON DISPLAY. SURE HE HAD NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT WHEN A MERE TWELVE MONTHS AGO HE WENT TO THE SAME KIND OF STRIP BAR AND WAS THE ONE EYEBALLING THE GIRLS.
(SIGH) BUT A GALS GOT TO EAT, AND WITH NO ID, HIS WORK OPTIONS WERE LIMITED TO THESE SEEDY JOINTS.
HE REGRETTED THAT HE HAD NOT MOVED WITH THE TIMES. IT'S THE SIXTIES 
AND AS MUCH AS HE HATED IT HIS WIFE... EX-WIFE HAD SEIZED ON THE WOMEN'S LIB MOVEMENT. WORK, FREEDOMS, AND FAITHFULNESS! IT WAS CRAZY, JUST BECAUSE HE WAS SLEEPING WITH OTHER WOMEN IT DID NOT MEAN HE DID NOT LOVE THE CUTE HOUSEWIFE AT HOME. HE NEVER MESSED WITH HER COOKING AND CLEANING. AND AS LONG AS THEY HAD SEX WHEN HE WANTED HE DID NOT COMPLAIN. SO WHAT WAS THESE STUPID WOMENS BEEF?
 BUT SHE HAD DONE THIS TO HIM. FED HIM HORMONES, DEGRADED AND EMASCULATED HIM, ROBBED HIM OF MASCULINITY AND SHRIVELED HIS OUNCE PROUD MANHOOD. THEN KICKED HIM OUT ON THE STREET.
 WELL AT LEAST THINGS WERE GETTING BETTER, THE MONEY AND TIPS ARE QUITE GOOD. AND GUS THE SECRETLY GAY CLUB BOUNCER GIVES HIM A ROOF OVER HIS HEAD. WELL AS LONG AS HE KEPT THE LITTLE FLAT CLEAN AND TIDY.
MADE HIS MEALS AND LOOKED AFTER HIS NEEDS IN THE BEDROOM. 
JANE WIGGLED ON HER HEELS TO THE STAGE FRONT AND LENT BACKWARDS. THE TASSLED PASTIES IN FULL FLIGHT DID FEEL PRETTY GOOD AGAINST HER SENSITIVE ERECTING NIPPLES.
 BUT SHE LAMENTED, THIS WOULD NOT DO HER BUST ANY GOOD. THESE TITS WOULD BE ON A DOWNWARD PLUNGE FOR SURE.
THIS IS ONE GAL WHO WOULD NOT BE BURNING HER BRA.

Propellerheads - Go Faster

(151) How To Suck Seed In Business.

Sorry for the delay I was trying another way to make a caption on my tablet but it failed miserably.
So back to what I know. I well continue the search for that elusive (Free) App.

THE FALL My door is never open. (Glastonbury 2015)

A caption contest

If you fancy a try at making a caption there is a contest over at.
http://inskirtscoerced.blogspot.co.uk/
All go fun maybe you can be as good as me. OK, that's a very low bar!

!150) A Canny Lass.

A tale of penny-pinching and a pinched penis.

The plasmatics - Put your love in me

CHECK IT OUT!

The very wonderful Jessica Graham has a new blog up.
I love her captions and she was kind enough to make three based on a request
I submitted. 
Do Check the blog out here. http://inskirtscoerced.blogspot.co.uk/
Be sure to show the love, leave lots of comments and take part in the contests.
Maybe suggest a theme or several.

(149) Keeping A Lid On It.

(148) Clean Thoughts.

Here we go another caption for your amusement and entertainment.
I have had a very boring weekend as have not been feeling to good.
I looked my symptoms up on the internet I think I have narrowed it
down to bubonic plague or African sleeping sickness.

The Jam 'Mr Clean'

(147) Trapped In The Wrong Body

(146) You're Sick Of This Now? Just Wait.

Mudhoney - Touch Me I'm Sick [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

(145) Tease And Torment.

Hi girls. Sorry for missing a post. I had a few computer issues. But its sort of working now after a fashion so thought I had better pump one out for you.
Hope you are all well and not getting blown away by Irma.

Steely Dan - Do It Again (Restored) R I P Walter Becker.

(144) Weegie Of DOOM.

Heres a funny story. I was going to post this earlier but could not get on to the internet.
I spent time turning things on and off and replugging things in. Turns out I had not turned the modem on. My brain really does need more oxygen!

(143)Waiting For The Man.

This is a scheduled post. just a little extra for your entertainment.
I have made a few changes to this wonderful cartoon so apologizes to
the artist. (eyes and at cleavage) and of course added the words.

(142) Dumb Dumb Not Fun.

It well come as no surprise that the hoped for epic writing session did not occur last week.
But never fear I got up nice and early to bring you today's  tale.

Kraftwerk - Showroom Dummies

(141) Its A Breeze.

Hüsker Dü - Ice cold ice

(140) I'm Melting I'm Melting.

Just a quicky today to keep things rolling along. I am still doing my long work shift and in a fit of madness decided to go out and cut the rather over grown lawn at mmw corporate HQ.
Am feeling very knackered it's only six pm here and I am ready for bed!
But have some days of this week so hopefully, new captions coming soon (ish).

BLUE MINK - Melting Pot (RARE LIVE UK TV 1970) Ft Roger Cook & Madeline ...

(139) The Secret They Don't Want You To Know!

Who are they?The Illuminati, New World Order, Lizard people! It's on Youtube, Open your eyes!
Wrap your head in Aluminum foil.

Sham 69 - Angels with dirty faces

(138) Old Habits, New Habits.

Hello, blogger fans. A rather nondescript week for me. Work, work work for me. What a life, Don't do it, kids.

Squeeze - Up the Junction

(137) Train Ride.

Hi All. Sorry for neglecting things of late. I am still under something of a malaise but this blog is still very much active and I am hoping a change to my working hours and a pending doctor visit well give me more time and find a reason for my total lack of zest at the moment.
I managed two captions this afternoon and have some ideas to put to print so let's hope for a more productive blog soon.

Blackfoot-Train Train

(136) An Idle Boast.

Its just so so hot here today. I work up a sweat just watching TV. I am in my shorts but would be good to get into a short mini skirt to air my sweaty bollocks. Now there is an image to leave you with nightmares tonight.
 An old caption here but with a slightly reworked ending.

[HQ] The Smiths - Bigmouth Strikes Again (Whistle Test, 1986)

(135) To Mean?

Another old one. I  am still living my DIY nightmare. Putting flooring down today. Only one injury
to finger tip, stupid saw blades!

(134) Time Well Spent?

Just another quicky but fresh off the press. 

I have been working way too hard in the current heat wave. Pulling down and remaking metal shelving at work. So many nuts and bolt I dream of them. Although with my fingers twisting so many fiddly nuts onto bolts maybe my new finger dexterity might give the girlfriend a smile on her face?

R I P Nicky Hayden.

(133) Just An Old Fashioned Girl.

R I P Chris Cornell Soundgarden - Fell On Black Days

(132) Going To Need A Plan B.

I have started a  DIY project to update my kitchen. To be honest, I wish I had not, it is taking an age it's the room where order and cleanliness should reign not the chaos I've got. And living on microwave meals and take outs for three weeks may have contributed to the first acne I have had in many a long year.
 Have not had much time to write so an older offering from the archive.

(131) Mayday.

Apparently, the Mayday call for help is a corruption of the french M'aidez, Help me.
It's a good job really, I mean if your boat is about to be dashed on the rocks or the wing has just fallen off your plane I do not think it's a good time to have to learn French.
 My french language teacher at school had a very broad Irish accent. I had enough trouble trying to understand her English so no hope of learning any French.

(130) The Sissy Collector.

Hope you are all well. You may have noticed I  go around to updating the blog list. Do let me know if
you are starting your own blog or have seen a blog I've not noticed yet. I am happy to add them.
 As always thank you for the ticks, comments, and followers.

(129) There Is Always Someone Worse Off,

(128) Sheiking All Over

Melissa waited nervously.The music began to play a fast tempo. A hypnotic eastern tune swirled across the large spacious palace room.
 It had been two years since she had last set eyes on Greg her cheating abusive ex-boyfriend, She had often thought of him and wondered if he had escaped or was still suffering her revenge.
 A female figure moved seductively behind a gauze curtain a curvy tantalising silhouette.
Melissa had Greg to thank for her now comfortable life she could not believe how the payback had gone so far way beyond her wildest expectations. Humiliate, embarrass and maybe rob Greg of a little of his proud machismo was the idea. But the glory of the internet is a wonderful thing. A meeting on women's chat room. The mysterious Jullie, she made things happen.
Greg disappeared for a few weeks and when next she saw him at a fetish club Jullie used she had seen Greg brought out shamed and embarrassed in full drag led by a leather clad Dominatrix.
 Apparently, the powerful electric butt plug had been an afterthought but a good way for the patron to tease the victim was extra icing. The remote was handed to Mellisa and a press of the plus button caused Greg to shudder, another press caused him to yelp and adopt a sexy tiptoe mince around the room. It was hilarious. She had to try the next setting. Wow, the wiggle that convulsed the tormented man sent a pulse from his skirt glad arse and hips. working up his body to quake the false breasts and down to buckle his knees.
 It was a glorious fun night for Melissa the memories would make her happy forever and with the video and photos, she had ammunition enough to make Greg a good obedient boy.
 Had things stopped there she would not have minded but in the audience was a man who saw the new forced sissy dancing. He was captivated and desired another slave for his harem. Oh, the potential for this one, those moves. And the evil oil Sheik could make offers and have the changes with just a dip into his loose change.
 The thin curtain pulled back. The dancer turned and with every beat swung her way into the center of the room and gathered guests with. Pure female sexuality, tantalizing movements sensual teasing.
 To be honest when the Sheik made the offer Mellissa could not believe that it was for real. Could you really sell somebody in this day and age? But she had gone along with it and enjoyed scaring Greg more. It was with amazement that when she looked at her bank account and saw the 500k sitting there. And Greg had not been seen again. Until now just three weeks after the invite and plane tickets to the desert kingdom.
 The dancer swirled her pulsating hips to the watching men. Working her way around the circle entrapping every eye. An erotic playfulness and tempting invitation.
 Until. The scream the look of pure shock and mouth agape horror. The trembling belly dancer stopped, Trying to shout trying to comprehend. She was in front of Mellisa.
Greg! was all Mellisa could muster.
Dance girl. Came the loud forceful command of the Shiek.
There was panic in the poor former man's face, dread. Every humiliation of the past months, the training. the surgeries and hormones, what he was forced to do. But he was paralysed now in front of the woman who had made it happen.
 I said dance slave. The sheik boomed again. He reached over and grabbed a gold remote handset.
Greg looked in horror. closed his eyes and breathed in sharply.
Y-Yes Master sorry Master. He stuttered in tearful resignation. And started to rock to bring himself back into the still churning beat.
 The Sheik leant over towards Mallissa and gave her the remote.
Please, madame,, indulge yourself this girl belongs to you for as long as you wish to stay.
 Thank you Sir. She had such a warm feeling and a tingle of power.
 She pressed the plus button and sat back smiling as the show began to get  a little wilder,

(127) They Are Gonna Pinch!

Howdy folks. Sorry for yet another delay. I only went and ended up with a night in a hospital with a lung infection. I have been back a few days now but still weak, weedy and Weezy.
 Four days without a cigarette now, FOUR DAYS!  So a little stressed.
Apparently, thirty-five years of smoking with a side order of cannabis abuse is not good for you.
They spoil all my fun. They well be saying the salt on my greasy chips is bad for me next.
 Just had a bit of retail therapy, CDs not shoes.

(126) Here To Stay,

Paul finally resigned his efforts and let the massive mammaries drop. Normally he would have relished the opportunity to manhandle such beauties for an hour and a half but now they were glued to his own chest they were a humiliating undesired problem. He had pulled, twisted and bathed but nothing would shift them. He knew his girlfriend had access to some very potent solvents from where she worked and he now realised he would have to do as she said to obtain the solvent if he was going to get these falsies off and not to mention the annoying blonde wig also applied with the same adhesive.
 Damn her! So he would ask her to wear low cut tops and had hinted at implants, and maybe he did look at her chest rather than here face, and of course his roving eye that had sparked the argument last night. He might also have considered his remarks about women knowing what they were doing hanging them out there. But should she have drugged him and performed this transformation?
 Well, that would be a topic for tonight he simmered as he reread her text.  Time was getting on he had only forty minutes to get to the bar to meet up with her. Rockies a seedy little joint across town.
 Paul sighed and looked at the only clothes left for him. A short denim skirt, pantyhose and tight control panties which he just knew was going to crush his dick and balls all night. Low heels and a plain white tee-shirt completed the things he would have to don. No bra he noticed.
 His girlfriend was going to get it as soon as he got out of this mess. But until then he was at her mercy. Nervously he left the apartment hoping upon hope nobody he knew would see him like this.
 He would be disappointed the bar was full of his and her friends. Plus it was wet Tee shirt night at Rockies and Paula's name was down on the list of entrants. Would he hang them out there or be stuck with his new look forever?

R,I,P Chuck Berry.

(125) Distraught D I Y Damsel

I have had a very busy week giving the Man made woman estate a long overdue session. Digging out fence posts putting in fence posts, grass cutting, pruning digging things out and cutting things down.
Then on to the house spring cleaning and putting in new(ish) kitchen cabinets.
I am bruised battered cut and tired. As you may gather I am very bad at D I Y.
Well at least in one unhappy moment I did come up with the idea for this caption.

Iron Butterfly - 1971-04-16 - In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida

(124) Nursed Back To?

A new post at last. Sorry again for the delays. You never know this could become a regular thing.

(123) A Stranger In Paradise.

Very sorry for the lack of posts. Just the same old same O. But with a monumental effort, tea, and cigarettes. Here is another Lad in a princess predicament.