(173) Wedding Day Nerves.

Another weekend already doesn't  time fly. Here is an old contest entry. But I have some work in progress so hopefully new stuff soon.
 I managed to recover the story I was working on last week which self-destructed. Had to dig deep to find the file stored deep in the depths so just need to tidy that up. Brt you can't wait.

(166) Wanks A Million.

Hi folks. Well despite all my doom and gloom on the last post. A little sunshine. This blog has past one million page hits.
                                           THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
Being the Ego maniac I am I have been keeping an eye on things but was expecting it sometime next month but all you lovely people pulled something out and gave me a huge splurge of love.
In true Oscars fashion. I was so not expecting this and did not expect to win against such stiff opposition, I did not prepare anything. (Pulls long speech and caption from the handbag.)
When I started posting in 2013 I am sure I had the same dreed as any blogger and would not get any hits. But I like to inflict punishment and stuck with it. I am so glad you keep coming. Love you all.
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(158) An Office Coup.

This is the "Caption" that I was working on last week. It has got rather long so more of a short essay now. You know me I do like to pile on the agony.
Let me know what you think of it.

(156) Shopping Aisle Trial.

Its Guy Fawkes night here, (Bonfire night for the more P C). Despite the rain, my Pyro neighbour is in full flight with fireworks galore. Yay for dangerous traditions. Now a caption that has nothing what so ever to do with that.

(152)All In A Spin.

(GIGGLE) TIME TO GET THEM TASSELS SPINNING BOYS. (CHEERS FROM CROWD)
JAME'S OR HIS STAGE NAME MISS JANE JIGGLES, STARTED TO GET HIS HIS BREASTS IN MOTION FOR THE SHOW STOPPER. 
 HE HATED HOW THE MEN OGLED AND JEERED, HE FELT LIKE MEAT ON DISPLAY. SURE HE HAD NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT WHEN A MERE TWELVE MONTHS AGO HE WENT TO THE SAME KIND OF STRIP BAR AND WAS THE ONE EYEBALLING THE GIRLS.
(SIGH) BUT A GALS GOT TO EAT, AND WITH NO ID, HIS WORK OPTIONS WERE LIMITED TO THESE SEEDY JOINTS.
HE REGRETTED THAT HE HAD NOT MOVED WITH THE TIMES. IT'S THE SIXTIES 
AND AS MUCH AS HE HATED IT HIS WIFE... EX-WIFE HAD SEIZED ON THE WOMEN'S LIB MOVEMENT. WORK, FREEDOMS, AND FAITHFULNESS! IT WAS CRAZY, JUST BECAUSE HE WAS SLEEPING WITH OTHER WOMEN IT DID NOT MEAN HE DID NOT LOVE THE CUTE HOUSEWIFE AT HOME. HE NEVER MESSED WITH HER COOKING AND CLEANING. AND AS LONG AS THEY HAD SEX WHEN HE WANTED HE DID NOT COMPLAIN. SO WHAT WAS THESE STUPID WOMENS BEEF?
 BUT SHE HAD DONE THIS TO HIM. FED HIM HORMONES, DEGRADED AND EMASCULATED HIM, ROBBED HIM OF MASCULINITY AND SHRIVELED HIS OUNCE PROUD MANHOOD. THEN KICKED HIM OUT ON THE STREET.
 WELL AT LEAST THINGS WERE GETTING BETTER, THE MONEY AND TIPS ARE QUITE GOOD. AND GUS THE SECRETLY GAY CLUB BOUNCER GIVES HIM A ROOF OVER HIS HEAD. WELL AS LONG AS HE KEPT THE LITTLE FLAT CLEAN AND TIDY.
MADE HIS MEALS AND LOOKED AFTER HIS NEEDS IN THE BEDROOM. 
JANE WIGGLED ON HER HEELS TO THE STAGE FRONT AND LENT BACKWARDS. THE TASSLED PASTIES IN FULL FLIGHT DID FEEL PRETTY GOOD AGAINST HER SENSITIVE ERECTING NIPPLES.
 BUT SHE LAMENTED, THIS WOULD NOT DO HER BUST ANY GOOD. THESE TITS WOULD BE ON A DOWNWARD PLUNGE FOR SURE.
THIS IS ONE GAL WHO WOULD NOT BE BURNING HER BRA.

(151) How To Suck Seed In Business.

Sorry for the delay I was trying another way to make a caption on my tablet but it failed miserably.
So back to what I know. I well continue the search for that elusive (Free) App.

!150) A Canny Lass.

A tale of penny-pinching and a pinched penis.

(148) Clean Thoughts.

Here we go another caption for your amusement and entertainment.
I have had a very boring weekend as have not been feeling to good.
I looked my symptoms up on the internet I think I have narrowed it
down to bubonic plague or African sleeping sickness.

(146) You're Sick Of This Now? Just Wait.

(145) Tease And Torment.

Hi girls. Sorry for missing a post. I had a few computer issues. But its sort of working now after a fashion so thought I had better pump one out for you.
Hope you are all well and not getting blown away by Irma.

(144) Weegie Of DOOM.

Heres a funny story. I was going to post this earlier but could not get on to the internet.
I spent time turning things on and off and replugging things in. Turns out I had not turned the modem on. My brain really does need more oxygen!

(138) Old Habits, New Habits.

Hello, blogger fans. A rather nondescript week for me. Work, work work for me. What a life, Don't do it, kids.

(118) Two Sides To Every Story.

A very happy new year to you all. Thank you for stopping by my piece of the web this year.
Best wishes and Love Ian X.

(99)The Jokes On Him.

I am not sure what I have done to deserve it as I feel my recent postings have been a bit lame and below Parr. But this blog is now being viewed around 1000 times a day and today 3200 so far!
 Thank you all so much for stopping by, it really does mean a lot to me.
 A cautionary tale. Do not eat pizza and blog at the same time. I did and it fell of the plate on to
the computer screen to slide down on to the keyboard. What a mess!
 

(82) Memories Of Things Passed.

A lovely warm day  here in the UK. Why did I pick today to tidy the house. I really need a sissy maid. Any offers?

(75)Lots To Learn.

Another weekend has flown by. I did manage a couple of captions for Ariel's latest caption contest.
 http://starzcaptioncontests.blogspot.co.uk/ Its a wedding theme. As always do check it out and have a go yourself.
 And made this caption for when the married life has become a little jaded.

(63) Easily Distracted.

Its almost Christmas.Yes! I  have the week of work yes! Have I done any shopping yet? No.  Have I got any money left? No. Who was it that said "Money can not buy you happiness?" What a F***ing Dickhead !
 Oh well lets start some Christmas captions.

(57) The Waiting Game.

I am slowly getting over my fortnight of Man flu. So no excuse must write captions !

(53) Its Not About You.

I hope you are all well in Blog land. I am still having trouble getting my longer captions written out. so back to basics for now with a shorter caption.
 I made a couple today so hopefully well get brain in to gear soon.

(52) Knock Knock

The end of my week of , back to work tomorrow. My best laid plans went out the window, I got no captions done or a day out or,,,Never mind I got loads of jobs done that I have been putting of for ages. When it takes three days of house work to get sorted you know you have let it go.
  I hate cleaning but had Stereo lab playing on the CD and had the trippy low fi Masters and mistresses get me through the day. Was dancing around the dusting (Not a nice sight but hey in the privacy of your own home).